Is it Rude to write, “no kids” on the invitation?

no kids graphic

When organizing your next special event, say a birthday party, what’s the first thing you do to begin the planning process? Do you examine the guest list? Pick colors or decoration theme? Or do you get right onto Pinterest for some inspiration? How about the wording for the invitation? After you decide on your first order of business, the theme for your party should follow, then shortly thereafter, your guest list. After which you might want to review themed birthday invitations.

One of the first to dos when creating the guest list, might be to decide on whom or more precisely at what age, is your aim? I might grab a manila folder, blank sheet of paper, and run a horizontal and vertical line on it. Creating 4 quadrants helps me prioritize what to do first, second, third and last, just before the event. One of the many questions I am asked is, “is it rude to say, no kids?” I would like to focus on this question and how you might address it, rather than offer an organizational timeline, as they can be found easily on the internet when party planning.

Here are a few Pre-Planning Thoughts and Suggestions before deciding on the best “wording” for the all too frequently asked question:

  • Are you serving appetizers and alcoholic beverages?
  • Is your gathering an after-hours event?
  • Do you have seating or space limitations?

First consider avoiding the use of Negatives. If “Adults Only” raises a negative response from just one guest, consider using:

  • You are invited to an Adult Gathering
  • Come to Adult Night Out
  • Join us for a Date Night

Secondly, if you feel a verbal explanation is in order, consider:

  • “Due to the adult nature of our evening, you’ll want to plan a night out for you and a night in for the kiddos.” *
  • “Though we love experiencing your children in a family atmosphere, the evening is geared as an adult gathering, and we would like you to feel more comfortable and relaxed in having them cared for at home to enjoy your date night out.”
  • “Our party plans will not necessarily be appropriate for children or teenagers. We are happy to recommend a few sitters in our neighborhood area should you need one.”
  • *If you verbally say or write: you may vs you’ll want …it may come across as a suggestion to your guest, vs your actual desire to leave the kids at home with a sitter; without actually saying, ‘please leave the kids at home.’

Lastly, for a Wedding Reception, consider the Titles for Reception Cards:

  • Adult Reception
  • Adult Gathering
  • Formal Adult Gathering

I do hope this information is of great use when planning your next Adult Outing or Event. Your written experiences and comments are most welcome to help those in the future. Happy Planning!

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